The past few months have been a humbling journey, wherein transitions I faced as a mother have challenged me to stand firm in God’s promises and my identity in Him.​

Transitioning into uncertainty taught me to find my security in Christ​

I’m an imperfect perfectionist — someone who desires very much to be in complete control and suffers undue anxiety in trying to attain such a goal. However, the journey of motherhood was filled with circumstances that I simply could not control and thus became a good training ground for me to find my security in Christ instead. Be it my concerns about Ethan’s growth in the womb, or when he faced distress during labour — each time I was challenged to take my anxious thoughts captive and lay them at the feet of the Lord. ​

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” The Lord reminded me through Isaiah 49:15 that my love and concern for Ethan paled in comparison to His love and concern for us. As such, my source of security and peace need not lie in my own strength, but in Him. ​

Transitioning into a new calling taught me to stand firm in my identity in Christ  ​

Psalms 127:3 says “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” The calling to care for and nurture Ethan called for a radical change in my priorities. There was a need for me to transit from full-time to part-time work and I found that making this decision was more discomforting than I anticipated.

As I confronted this discomfort, I realized that it stemmed from my reluctance to relinquish my identity at work. I had always found great meaning in my work but had also prided myself in being a diligent worker, who was ever willing to go the extra mile. I dreaded having to give up that part of my identity. Going part-time also meant that I would not be on the fast track to further achievements at work, and I had to give up some of the projects I felt passionate about. ​

However, as I prayed, I was convicted that my identity should first be as a disciple of Christ, one who looks heaven-ward and is led by the Spirit to accomplish the Lord’s will in His time. In the same way that God had led me to my workplace to serve, He was also leading me to realign my priorities for a different season. Ultimately, His pleasure and glory should matter to me more than people’s approval or my own ambition. With that, I learnt that saying “yes” to the Lord meant “no” to competing priorities and pursuits in the world. And it gave me peace to embrace the calling of motherhood and its sacrifices. ​

Transitioning into a place of weakness taught me to depend on Christ ​

Call it hormones, but more likely the combination of physical changes, changes in lifestyle, daily sleep deprivation, and the new weight of responsibility over a newborn — postpartum, I struggled with a messy mix of emotions and insecurities. But through it, I realized I needed the Lord to convict me of my sin, call me to repentance, forgive me and redeem moments that I fell and failed in my marriage and in motherhood. ​

Truly the Lord stood by me and strengthened me (2 Tim 4:17a), on days when I particularly struggled. And I thank God for His Spirit of truth and for His Word that was an anchor for my frenzied soul. It’s only been 3 months since I became a mother, and I thank God daily for revealing Himself to me in such precious and intimate ways.  He indeed is faithful. ​

Please pray for me that I will continue to walk closely with Him and allow Him to sanctify me more, that Philippians 1:9-11 may be fulfilled in my life. ​

by sister Cleo Chiong​