Family Discipleship
God has entrusted us to be the stewards of our children, currently aged 14 and 11 years. We see that the responsibility of our children’s spiritual discipleship during their formative years falls primarily upon us. Our vision for family discipleship is reflected in Psalm 78: 5b–8 (ESV) “… He commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments.”
Family discipleship equips our children with tools to navigate life with a firm foundation that is rooted in faith and love. We pray that their lives will reflect God as the foundation for their worldviews, aspirations, and lifestyles. The verses above also reminds us that “teach(ing)” our children has an inter-generational impact. Our actions (or inactions) will have far-reaching consequences, affecting not only them but their children too.
For several years, we have intentionally set aside Sundays for family time, focusing on discipleship. During this time, we would sing worship songs, memorise bible verses, and read a few bible passages or a devotional text. Recently, we would share and discuss the key points of a sermon. However, as our children grow older, they become increasingly busy with numerous academic and extracurricular activities. Not surprisingly, these often take priority and we have struggled to maintain our weekly family time. There were times when we went over a month without one session.
At the start of 2023, we committed to be more consistent in our family time. We also aimed to have individual discipleship time with our two children separately. While we are still working on making these practices regular, we recognise that this journey is akin to running a marathon. Therefore, we have learned to press on and not be too hard on ourselves when we fail. We have also learned to be more flexible, seizing any opportunities that come our way for these important times together. The “teach(ing)” in Psalm 78:5 is about imparting God’s words. Drawing from Deuteronomy 6:6-9, this teaching extends beyond mere instruction. It is about life impacting life, just like iron sharpening iron.
Hence, family discipleship is more than just structured activities; it is about cultivating a daily atmosphere where faith is lived out authentically. It involves parents modelling a Christ-centered life, not just teaching it. Beyond teaching biblical knowledge, it is about instilling values, fostering spiritual growth, and nurturing a deep, personal relationship with God.
We cannot give from what we do not have. We ourselves have to be nurtured in Christ while we as imperfect parents continue to disciple our children. And as co-disciplers, we also need to work on our marital relationship and build each other up. Like it or not, we are constantly being observed by our children and they do speak up when they see inconsistencies. What we have found helpful then is to practice authenticity with our children, openly sharing our struggles and mistakes while making an effort to improve.
In a world bombarded with relentless secular influences, what also helps is investing time to build strong relationships, so that our children will be willing to maintain open communication with us, regardless of their struggles and pain. Our children are growing up really fast. We do not know what lies ahead or how long we can be present in their lives, we simply hope that we can continue to relish every moment, enjoy our time together, and in the process build up one another.
By brother William and sister Eunice