It was about a week before the first COVID-19 case in Singapore, when my nurse manager assigned me to be part of the COVID-19 ICU nursing team in Singapore General Hospital. It was the first such nursing team to be formed and I was the only nurse with a young child at home among the five of us in the team. In the beginning, I was upset with my supervisor. I thought to myself: “Why did she choose me? Doesn’t she know I have a young kid at home? Who is going to look after my daughter if something happens to me?” I asked my supervisor for more time to think through the assignment before accepting it. I called one of my mentors and talked to her about my fears and concerns. Through the counsel of my mentor Suzanna, I was reminded of God’s faithfulness. She helped me shift my focus from all my fears of the unknown virus to who God is and what He can do for us. I prayed after putting down the phone with Suzanna, “Lord, take away my fears, help me to be so zealous in serving you regardless of the assignment you are going to give me. Lord, here I am. Use me as you will.”
The first ICU activation for a suspected COVID-19 case soon came during my night shift. I remember hearing the sounds of my own heartbeat as I walked the empty path to the isolation ward. I said a quick prayer before I entered the isolation room. God arranged all the senior doctors and nurses on that night with me and everything went smoothly though it was our first experience wearing the personal protective equipment to perform life-saving procedures on a real patient. Subsequently, this patient tested negative for the virus. The Lord provided me this dry run experience and I had gained much confidence in the steps to take to protect myself. I was in the isolation ICU until May this year; God’s hand was with me all the time. I know many of you had been praying for me and the safety of our healthcare workers. Thank you; your prayers were answered.
Thank you for blessing us with your encouraging words and the lovely snacks before circuit breaker; my colleagues and I are touched by your love.
As I reflect on my experience, I have learnt much:
- God is faithful and merciful; He will honour my desire if I desire to honour him. “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him (Lamentations 3:25).” I was prepared for the worst, God protected me from danger and harm.
- My heart is always filled with gratitude whenever I receive credit for being a good nurse. I knew little about loving and serving others when I came to Singapore at the age of 19. I learnt it from many brothers and sisters in YCKC who demonstrated love to me in one way or another over the years. I give thanks to God for your faithful service onto others.
- Even though I really struggle with my daily devotion as a working mum, God remains faithful even though I am faithless; His loving kindness never ceases in my everyday life. I experience His forgiveness and empowerment every time I confess my sins; He comes near to me whenever I come near to Him. Great is His faithfulness!
Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands (Deuteronomy 7:9). May our faithful God protect you and your family. May the Lord help us to love him and keep his commands in our daily life, Amen.
By Sister Qin Ting (YCKC Bulletin 13 September 2020)