by Admin | May 7, 2016 | Linda Leong, • Timely Word •
Recently, I had the pleasure of attending a Passover dinner hosted by a Rabbi. The guests were each gifted with a copy of the “Haggadah” which is a Jewish text detailing the order of the Passover. Reading the Haggadah at the Passover table was a fulfillment of the scriptural commandment to “tell your son”, by conscientiously impressing upon younger generations how God liberated their ancestors from slavery as described in the Book of Exodus (Exodus 13:8).
Jewish parents are known to allow children to interrupt incessantly. It is common to put aside adult conversations to attend to the children’s questions first. Such is the same at the Passover table where the aim is not merely a one-sided reading and teaching, but to engage the children in conversation. What I found even more remarkable was the Haggadah instructed parents to engage their children based on their individual characteristics. In particular, it described in detail four kinds of children:1) the “bright, inquisitive kind”, 2) the one who is “kind of chilled out of the whole thing”, 3) the “simple” kid, and 4) the “one who just doesn’t know how to ask questions.”
The Haggadah instructs the parent of the first bright and inquisitive kid to discern what the child craves to understand, and to teach accordingly. To the second chilled out-child who asks, “Why do you guys do all this?”, the parent discerns that the child keeps the faith at arm’s length and seeks to inspire him. The third kind of child may not be bright, but parents are reminded that this child may be more in touch with God because he does not wonder excessively like the bright ones and get lost in the process. The parent just has to sustain his amazement and wonderment. The Haggadah describes the fourth type of kid as aloof, going through the motions without engaging his mind, heart and soul. The parent has the arguably harder task to help him open up, get him engaged and to ask questions.
The central theme around the Passover and the Haggadah seems to revolve around “Otherwise, how will they learn?” The Rabbi reminded guests that the Passover tradition exists not only for practicing Jews, but to continually bring back the Jews who have yet to embrace their heritage (also known as the fifth child who did not turn up that night, but always in the thoughts and prayers of the community).
As a Christian mother of four, the lessons from this Passover dinner are especially poignant to me:
- Teach and speak of our faith diligently. The Bible reminds us to “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). As much as it is a community effort, parents cannot afford to delegate their God-given duty and responsibility to the weekly Sunday school and the occasional Vacation Bible Camp.
- Practice wisdom and discernment in engaging our children. Much like how Jesus engaged and challenged the rich young ruler (Matthew 19:16-22, Mark 10:17-27) and the Samaritan woman (John 4:4-22), we inspire faith in our children according to their God-given characteristics. We challenge each child to make God relevant in his or her particular life circumstances.
- Faith is not merely theological understanding, but a nurturing of relationships. The concept of a Heavenly Father is abstract and children first understand that from their relationship with their own parents, and their parents’ personal relationship with God.
- Last but not least, allow our children to doubt, ask questions and struggle to find their own faith. It is from knowing God’s law and struggling with our sins and inadequacies that we grow to become stronger in our faith. Romans 7:14-25 reminds us that only in knowing how wretched we are without God, do we cling on to Him for hope.
“Otherwise, how will they learn?”
By Linda Heng-Leong (YCKC Bulletin 7&8 May 2016)
by Admin | Jul 25, 2015 | Linda Leong, • Timely Word •
The book of Ecclesiastes has always captured me with its heart-piercing truths. As a non-believing cynical youth who argued fiercely about the hypocrisy of Christians, I was won over by a personal God who gently, but unapologetically claimed His position in my life as my Creator (Ecclesiastes 12:1).
As a believer for two decades now, I have strived to please God and seek His guidance in my studies, marriage, children, career and even service in ministry. Time and again in my spiritual journey, I have found myself falling prey to the vanities of toiling for reward, pleasure, wisdom and acclaim. The words of the wise man, “Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless”, echo in the chambers of my heart as I ride the highs and lows of these pursuits.
In my area of work, I see the best and worst of people who are embroiled in prolonged conflict and disputes. Although there is joy and satisfaction in assisting them to find an amicable resolution, there are also times when the existential philosophy embedded in Ecclesiastes can be disheartening.
It does not seem to matter how many disputes we resolve, conflicts at all levels continue to persist. History continues to repeat itself.
What is our response to the meaninglessness and futility that Ecclesiastes exudes? It seems rather trite to take literally the sprinkling of exhortations to “eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart… and to enjoy life.” (9:7-9). Taken out of context, it might perpetuate a blase attitude to eat, drink and be merry while we still can. Or could it be another extreme where we throw our hands up in despair and allow hopelessness and despair to overcome us?
Philip Yancey, in “The Bible Jesus Read”, has this to say: “Unless we acknowledge our limits and subject ourselves to God’s rule, unless we trust the Giver of all good things, we will end up in a state of despair. Ecclesiastes calls us to accept our status as creatures under the dominion of the Creator, something few of us do without a struggle”.
The book of Ecclesiastes demonstrates the reality of the faith that Jesus lived out – one that perseveres, struggles, triumphs, errs, laments, despairs, repents; and eventually discovers strength, focus and perspective in light of God’s plan. We look to the One who gives us meaning amidst the meaninglessness, we hunker down to the tasks assigned, and we enjoy the fruits of our labours if and when they come. There will be differences in the journeys we take, but there will be one common destiny – the end of this life and an accounting to our Maker.
After living a full life, the elderly wise Teacher (presumably King Solomon) concludes on this sombre note: “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.” Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
By Mrs Linda Leong (YCKC Bulletin 25&26 July 2015)
by Admin | May 10, 2014 | Linda Leong, • Timely Word •
When my kids were in preschool and proclaimed that they love me, I often ask them, “Why? Why do you love me?” I’m always amused by how hard they try to answer this simple but loaded question. Their heartfelt answers range from “Because you love me, teach me, take care of me, buy things for me etc…” to which I will cheekily ask, “Does this mean if I don’t take care of you or buy you things, you won’t love your Mummy anymore?” The confusion on their faces is a sight to behold, as they wrestle to articulate the purity of their love. Oftentimes, the conversation will end with a whiny protest, “I don’t know Mum…”, or an embarrassed but comforting hug and kiss. As they grow older, they become more articulate and say, “Because YOU love me first”. They have also learnt to give me a taste of my own medicine by asking, “Why do YOU love us?”
1. Creation is Product of Love
The first woman bore the name Eve, which literally translates as “the mother of all living” (Genesis 3:20). A mother feels that life force stirring inside her long before the father sets eyes on his child. God the Creator fashions us inside the womb (Psalm 139:13-14) and all mothers have the privilege of identifying with Him in that process of creation.
The mothers amongst us would appreciate how difficult it is to conceive and bear a foetus to full term. There is a conscious act of wanting and then protecting that fragile life inside of us, allowing it to share our nourishment, feeling the life grow, enduring and even looking forward to the painful childbirth that is to come. The act of creation is a deliberate and purposeful one by God, even if not always by men. Our very existence is borne out of God’s love and desire for us to love Him in return. Indeed we love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)
Whatever our life experiences are, we must know that each one of us are very much loved and wanted by God. For Christian mothers, it is the recognition that our children are gifts from the Lord (Psalm 127:3-5) that we treasure our little ones so unreservedly.
2. The Power of Unconditional and Sacrificial Love
God’s love is an unconditional love — demonstrating patience and kindness… keeping no records of wrong, always trusting, always hoping, always persevering (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7). Jesus himself demonstrated this love in the flesh, a sacrificial love that was never dependent on the disciples’ response. The compelling nature and power of God’s love is in giving us free will, the choice to make decisions and still loving us when we are imperfect.
Jesus’ ministry on earth demonstrates to us how we as Christian mothers care, teach, train, guide, discipline and also disciple our children. Nonetheless, our love must not tie them to our apron strings.
As our children grow up, they must decide for themselves how to respond to our love and instructions. We must allow them to become strong independent adults, able to disciple others, and to also leave us when they start their own families (Genesis 1:28, 2:24, Matthew 28:19).
The power of the Christian mother’s love comes from our efforts to train them in the ways of the Lord and thereafter, the ability to let them go so as to fulfill their plan and purpose in life as directed by the Lord.
3. Love that Brings Us Home
Isaiah 66:13 “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”
God likens His faithfulness to that of a mother who is always ready to offer a place of refuge and safety; and her comfort brings indescribable joy to the weary child. No matter how our children live their lives, we will always need to be that sanctuary where our children can seek godly wisdom and receive unconditional love and forgiveness. The love a Christian mother offers is akin to God’s redemptive love. It is this love upon which we build our homes, homes of grace, comfort, and joy, homes that remind our children to yearn for the heavenly home that our loving Father has called us to.
By Mrs Linda Leong (YCKC Bulletin 10&11 May 2014)
by Admin | Sep 28, 2013 | Joseph Leong, Linda Leong, • Timely Word •
I volunteer as a pastoral care teacher at my son’s school’s parent support group. Not too long ago, the pastoral staff collected prayer requests from the Primary 6 boys. To our surprise, the prayer requests were not merely for the up and coming PSLE. Instead, a substantial number of prayer requests were for the well-being of their families – for parents not to quarrel, not to have affairs nor get divorced.
It is sobering for a Children’s Day bulletin message to start on such a note, but we must never forget that our children’s welfare and happiness are tied to the marital union and codes for the family which God instituted. In Ephesians 5:22 – 6:9, Paul gives instructions to the Christian household. First, 5:21-24 reminds husbands and wives to submit to each other out of reverence to Christ. Next, 5:25-33 emphasizes the bond of love and respect in the family and at length reminds Christian spouses that they’re on the same team (5:31 is specific that even in-laws do not share in that most intimate of bonds). Only after these instructions on how the family should be led are there comparatively brief, but equally important, instructions for parent-child relationships and relationships with household staff.
How we raise our children must be seen in the context of God’s order for the family. How we live as a family must be seen in the context of God’s order for marriage. And how we live as husband and wife must be seen in the context of God’s order for our relationship with Him.
The above passages raise two lessons for children to grow up well. First, there is a clear hierarchy in the household – Christ, spouse, children, staff. If this hierarchy is out of order, the household falls apart. The structure makes sense and this hierarchy must be maintained. Second, a household is built on love and respect. If love and respect for Christ and for each other do not exist, it is a house divided. And as Christ reminded us, a house divided against itself cannot stand (Mark 3:25).
In living out these principles, there are of course challenges faced by every generation and every society. There are two we seem to struggle with in today’s Singapore.
First, the struggle with priorities. In the quest to provide for our children, we as parents need to be watchful over our priorities. Children require much toil, time and attention, but this must not come at the expense of time and attention to our spouses. There is a tipping point where if we are honest with God, we must admit that our secular work or even the day to day running of the household and children, have overtaken our spiritual lives as well as the physical and emotional needs of our spouses. When that happens, we expose ourselves to the evil one, who will seize a foothold for temptation.
Second, the struggle with sin. Do not be deceived and do not deceive yourself. We are all prone to be tempted. When we give way to temptation, sin enters the family in the form of addictions, lies or adultery. It is like trying to keep a smouldering coal under the carpet. Suspicion, defensiveness, weariness at keeping up appearances will burn a hole through the carpet. Ultimately we end up hurting the nearest and dearest to us, our family, our children, and most of all, we grieve God.
We need to pray and be vigilant to uphold our children, our families, our marriages, and our precious relationship with our Heavenly Father who underwrites it all.
By Joseph and Linda Leong (YCKC Bulletin 28&29 September 2013)
by Admin | May 25, 2013 | Linda Leong, • Timely Word •
“Human conflict is surely a consequence of sin. But not all conflict is sin. … … Peace is something we make, not keep. Conflict is God-purposed. The conflict in your life right now is not a surprise to God, nor beyond His power to work out for good purposes. God allows conflict, perhaps even lead us into it, Images and linksthat we may know His love and trust His peace.” ~ Making Peace, Jim van Yperen
As a mother, when my children come to me with disagreements, it is not sufficient for me to decide on the merits of the situation. There is the additional responsibility to preserve the relationship between the siblings, and to coach them in managing future disagreements. A wise parent would know the hazards of extremes – either sweeping things under the carpet, or meting out harsh punishments at the perils of stirring up resentment between family members. As a mediator, I’ve also encountered many disputes. While disputing parties come to mediators with serious substantial problems to resolve, we have discovered that conflicts arise more often than not from breakdown in communication and deterioration in relationships. It is the mediator’s duty to assist in problem-solving, but real satisfaction comes when warring parties reconcile and walk out with peace of mind, or on some occasions, even friends again.
I think it is fair to say that the world is more adept at peacekeeping than peacemaking. In spite of tremendous human endeavour put into developing the justice system, laws merely regulate our behaviour through reward and punishment. Ultimately, conflict continues to perpetuate and escalate because humanity is more accustomed to the notion of win or lose, this way or that way.
How should the Christian view conflict then? With a sense of dread and despair? To be avoided at all cost? The Bible reveals after all, a narrative of conflict between God and man, and between man and man, right from the Fall in Genesis persisting through to Revelation. For me, there are times when the beauty of the Gospel message is overshadowed by the overwhelming despair and sorrow in all of Scripture. Why do we as believers put our faith in a God that persists in telling us about strife, anguish and even sorrow?
“Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if
it dies, it produces many seeds.” John 12:24
Man’s choice to succumb to sin results in conflict with God, and with each other. But God modelled for us a solution. In the struggle between sin and righteousness, God provided reconciliation between Himself and man through the redemptive work of Jesus Christ. With Christ as the Mediator, imperfect as we are, we are called to reconcile with one another, and to actively mediate conflicts between others. (James 4:1-10, Colossians 3:13, 2 Timothy 2:24).
We, as disciples, are tasked to do this continually to fulfil the ministry of reconciliation that Jesus began. The first task is to join in the ministry to reconcile man to God. But our job does not end there. The second task is to reconcile men to each other. In times of conflict, we therefore prioritize people over issues, choose to heal than to merely yield, and take every opportunity to touch lives. In doing so, the resolution of conflict becomes constructive and purposeful, and reveals the transformative power of Christ.
When Jesus dealt with challenges to his authority, He demonstrated for us wisdom and shrewdness in managing conflict. In Matthew 10:16, He exhorted his disciples to be “like sheep among wolves… be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” We are not called to argue our case cleverly, nor to prove logically that we are right, but we are asked to submit humbly to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
The Christian, out of kinship to a righteous God, is called to model the kingdom of God in an imperfect world. He is expected to be more than a rule-keeper or a law-enforcer (peacekeeper), he is expected to actively mould differences into commonalities and influence people towards righteousness and submission to God (peacemaker).
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God”. Matthew 5:9
“Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness”. James 3:18
By Linda Leong (YCKC Bulletin 25&26 May 2013)
by Admin | May 11, 2013 | Linda Leong, • Timely Word •
“Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Proverbs 31:28-30
When I first came to know the Lord about 17 years ago, the wife of noble character in Proverbs 31:10-31 was incredibly daunting. Not only is she expected to be a pillar of strength and a helper to her husband, the wife in Proverbs 31 embodies the role of what some today might call “Minister of Home Affairs”, and accomplishes it all effortlessly with strength, dignity, joy and compassion. As a young adult then, I was both inspired and fearful of what it meant to be a Godly wife and mother.
Seven years later, as a young wife and mother I was burnt out trying to achieve the key performance indicators laid out in Proverbs 31. I was constantly tired, irritable and stressed. I oscillated between the guilt of not doing enough and resentment at God for placing such an impossible burden on the Christian wife and mother.
Thankfully, there was a prayer and fellowship support group for mothers then. At one meeting, a guest speaker again exhorted us from Proverbs 31. This time though, I saw God’s instructions in a different light.
Firstly, the Proverbs 31 wife and mother is not a snapshot at one point in life, but rather an amalgamation of different seasons in a woman’s life, culminating in a lifetime’s worth of experiences and accomplishments. (Phew! You mean I don’t have to be all that right now? Imagine my relief when I realized that I had fallen into the trap of a “career homemaker and mother”.)
Secondly, the Proverbs 31 wife and mother draws strength and joy from the Lord. It was not by relying on her own talent, strength or determination, but out of an enduring love and devotion to become a woman after God’s own heart. The wife and mother who serves her family does it not so much to satisfy her aspirations nor to please the family or society, but to please God who has given her this privilege and responsibility. (You mean I have nothing to prove to myself, nothing to prove to the world, nothing to prove to God?)
Since then, I’ve learnt to take a step back. Instead of focusing on the outcomes, I’ve learnt to focus on the process of seeking the Lord in big things and small, committing all my inadequacies to Him and trusting Him to do what is best for my family. While I labour to bring my children up, I’m not overly concerned with their achievements, health or happiness. There is tremendous peace and joy in letting God mould me and my family to be who He wants us to be. He is the Potter, we are the clay.
As a mother of more than 11 years now, I’ve come to see Proverbs 31 in a different light again. This time, I read back to verses 1-9 and see the influence a mother has on her children. Proverbs 31:10-31 is in fact the purposeful coaching of a Godly mother to her son on how to choose a Godly wife. Not because she herself has successfully accomplished all this, but because her years of devotion and walking with the Lord has led her to discern the type of Godly woman she would counsel her son to marry, and I imagine how she would raise her daughters to be.
I believe God does not judge us by our results, but by our heart and effort. We are not called to be perfect wives and mothers. If we are humble and contrite before the Lord, our husbands and children will recognize our hard work and heartfelt efforts, and we will receive the rewards from God in due time.
Happy Mother’s Day!
By Linda Leong (YCKC Bulletin 11&12 May 2013)
